Being Wrong: Bouncing Back From Grad School Rejection

I have developed a very recent semi-obsession with TED Talks. Some of these talks are downright cool – so says the geek living inside of me. Most recently, I watched a talk by Kathryn Schulz, author of “Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error.” She challenges the narrative that to succeed in life, we must never make mistakes.

I did not always believe this. For a long time, I could think of nothing more anxiety-provoking and self-esteem-threatening than being wrong. Call it the former (mostly effortlessly) straight A student living inside of me. Nothing shattered my ego raising my hand to blurt out the wrong answer or getting a paper back ridden with red ink. It’s not that I’ve never failed, but I’ve definitely stopped myself from pursuing different opportunities because of the fear.

I have failed. Majorly. Yet I can look back and definitely state that if I had never tried and made mistakes, I would absolutely not be where I am today. So major confession time: I was WRONG – not once, but twice – in applying to graduate school.

The First Time

The first time I thought, “Hey, I have good grades and GRE scores, I’m a shoo-in for any Ph.D. program.” Nope. Instead, I got a slew of rejection letters. And yes, hurt and shame and embarrassment from being wrong stings. Badly.

The Second Time

The second time I was a little less wrong. I managed to score an interview this go-round. This blow was nothing short of almost devastating. Your first instinct might be to start to question if you really have what it takes. You start to seriously consider giving up for good.

Bouncing Back

Dealing with the ego blow is definitely something serious, especially if its means losing your independence and moving back home with your parents, as it did for me. The point is that I didn’t stay here in being stuck. I didn’t recognize it at the time but for each go-round, I emerged a little bit smarter, a little more savvy, a little more knowledge about what I needed to do to better next time.

If your dream career is right in front of you, so close you can touch it but so far away due to not being admitted to grad school, YOU can take a step closer to the success you seek. Do yourself a favor and accept that you just might learn the most through falling flat on your face.

Shame isn’t earned in being wrong. Shame comes in failing to accept the lesson, to learn and grow from it, and dust yourself off and try again, especially if the only thing standing in between you and purposeful or life-transforming work is getting the degree you need in the first place.